Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Credo Ut Intelligam

Dear Sam,

I took a train from  Trivandrum to Varkala on Monday, I think it was the day before yesterday. Stupid me. I had a seat but I noticed it when I got down. LOL. I was standing between all passengers, men and women alike. I can't still make out what's printed on those tickets. I'd need a magnifying glass for that.

It was still raining when I got down. And the room that I got? It was raining in there too (...so I got it for 250 rs. only). The nice caretaker Liju put a bucket under the dripping ceiling and surprisingly, I did fall asleep to the creepy tap... tap... tap... tap... while staring at a monstrous and furious Shiva on the wall!

Time seemed to have stopped here. The dark brick-reddish ominous cliffs; the little almost empty beaches with a dash of black volcanic sand (exceptionally clean); the swooshing white waves resembling the white river horses outside Rivendell; the hungry hawks flying beneath me against the the wind along the cliffs and diving right into the Lakshadweep See; the evening stroll down that rocky dam pursed between water and earth; the swaying of the permanently 60 degree-angled coconut palms; the chitchat with the friendly fishermen from the Muslim village... I can just write on and on and on. This is different than Goa. Goa was nur Spass! Goa was party, Goa was Yolo. Varkala is zur Ruhe kommen, Varkala is sanity, Varkala is me and myself!You told me that you'd like to visit this place. Please do. And when you do, know that I was here too.

I met a bunch of immensely interesting personalities in Shiva Garden (the place where I'm staying). Pascuale the Italian Yogee, Nicolas the French Reiki-Healer, Ravi the American who's been meditating for 2 days in his room and won't come out... and many others!

Pascuale explained the meaning of ঔ on my bracelet (damn I can't find the "Chandra Bindu" on the keyboard, but you know what I mean :-P). I knew it stands for the main essence but theoretically it was just the 10th (and the last) vowel with the 39th (and the last again) consonant of the Bengali alphabet. Did you know that the upperleft curve stands for Brahma the Creator (or the +, Pascuale would say) while the lowerleft one for Shiva the Destroyer (or the -) and the trunk on the right for Vishnu the Preserver (or the 0 as a balance between +/-)? Well, I didn’t. And all these three contribute together to form the Trimurti (…sounds familiar? Yeah, the Trinity; but it’s not exactly the same… partially, may be)! The Trimurti are the main representatives of the Brahman (the one and only) who is depicted by the Chandra Bindu.

I also had a weird and surprising Reiki-haling experience (I still don’t belive in Reiki). Nicolas was doing some funny movements with his hands and mumbling to himself… something like … “Mhm, mhm, this Chakra doesn’t seem quite okay, oh, this Chakra is very powerful (winking as if the “power” would blind him … lol), hmm, I’ve sen that before, oh something’s wrong here”… and then he asks me about my back and kindneys! I was like…”Wtf dude? Howzzat possible”!?!


I remember what Pascuale told me about spiritualism. If I’m looking for an explanation for the missing link between the reason and the faith, I should look deeper into my own religion first. I’ve always said that I’m a muslim because I was born to muslim parents and that I’m a bit reluctant to practice because it was forced upon me. But I’m always open to everyone, every belief and every opinion; I understand, but I don’t have to believe if I don’t want to. Spiritualism is nothing but a word and it doesn’t follow any certain customs or rules. Both Sufees and Sannyasis are looking for the same thing. Doesn’t matter whether you chant with a mala with 104 Rudrakshas or with 99 pearl beads. In the end it’s only with yourself.

And yet I still don’t understand all of this. May be I really need to “believe, so that I understand” and not just carry the Latin words transliterated in Hindi on my shoulder blade.

 <3 - TZ
08.05.13

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